Tinder, Wood, Fire or Water?
Four types of people
Having spoken about reevaluating your relationships, questions arise. Sometimes it may be entirely obvious who can stay and who needs to go, but often our emotions have gotten too intertwined to be able to see people clearly. So I have found a simple metaphor that may help you make sense of these people.
Tinder
When you are around the Tinder-type of person you feel constantly stimulated. Ideas spark, passion lights up, and possibilities flash before your eyes. This type of person can help you to break through your own limiting beliefs. They are usually great fun, fearless and the life of the party.
But beware: Tinder alone cannot maintain a useful fire and will soon fizzle out if not met with something more substantial.Wood
Wood-type people are more substantial and grounded than the Tinder-type. These are the builders, the people who can take the spark of an idea and run with it. They are stable and reliable, which may sound a bit boring but these people, when well balanced, can be worth their weight in gold.
In spite of this, if they are too stuck in their ways it may be hard for them to take fire.Fire
These are the shiny people. Sometimes confused with Tinder-people, Fire-people have the true light and are not so flighty. They bring light and warmth in your life, and they may seem a little larger-than-life. A true fire should inspire you, warm you and make you feel hope.
Byproducts for people who cannot receive the fire (like water), may be things like jealousy and spite.Water
Water-type people put out any kind of fire (or possibility for fire) out by dousing them with their energy. This can be in the form of negativity, pessimism, pettiness, unwillingness to see things in another way and grow, not adapting or being able to be generous.
However, a certain amount of water is necessary to prevent the fire from spreading places you don’t want it to go. Criticism, when constructive, is extremely useful.
What are you?
Now it may be easy to start seeing all these types in the people that surround you, but I want to invite you to start by figuring out which you are first.
From that starting point it may be easier to see why certain people make you feel good and others don’t. For example, if you are more of a Wood and your partner is either a Wood or a Water, life might be quite cookie-cutter and predictable (but stable!). And though a Tinder/Fire combination might seem incredibly exciting, it is inevitably short-lived and unsubstantial.
This exercise is not to write off certain types entirely, but simply to become aware of the qualities of people and their effect on you. And a question on how much time you might want to spend with them. If your fire is large enough, you might be able to withstand some water, but if you’re just guarding your own flame, you’re never going to shine brightly if you are surrounded by waters.
*Keep in mind that no one is just one of these four types, we all have some attributes of these types inherently in us, and it might be good to become aware of this so that on any given moment you may help spark the fire of a friend, nurture the flame of a colleague or nurturingly douse a loved one.