Lessons of 2020
I haven’t had the time to do this sort of thing in the past few years, which is a shame because I might have learned these things sooner (who am I kidding haha). I know 2020 has been a very difficult year for many people, and I feel very deeply for everyone who has been seriously impacted on a (mental)health or financial level.
I feel very lucky to say that I wasn’t. I’ve been through worse. I embraced the opportunity to retreat and reflect, to slow down and let mother nature take over. To put aside the male go-get-it-done energy to replace it with a softer, more receptive feminine energy. To be still and feel in what direction life really wants to pull me.
The opportunity to adapt saves us from growing rusty and stuck. It gives us a chance to learn flexibility of mind and a chance to choose. Often we are so used to how things are going that we just continue, without giving it too much thought. But when you stop for a moment and reflect, you have the opportunity to learn. And that’s the real gift.
Lessons I have (hopefully) learned and/or am still learning from 2020
Don’t stay where you’re unappreciated. Go where you’re celebrated. Don’t waste energy trying to make someone see your worth until you can’t see it yourself anymore. Just because someone cannot see it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. There are people who can see your value without you even having to show them. Go to those people.
Words are cheap. Judge someone by their actions and you’ll never be fooled by their words. One that I have known for many many years but apparently still need to learn the hard way. You can have as much faith in someone as you want, if their actions don’t match their words then it’s just an illusion. Don’t believe the illusion. It seems beautiful but it is fruitless. One cannot live on pineapples made of clouds. In the end a real apple with all its scratches and bruises is a thousand times more nourishing than any imaginary exotic fruit you will wither waiting to get one bite of.
The love you give is never lost. When the vessel you’re pouring it into cannot receive let alone return your love, it flows everywhere and Life sends it back to you in beautiful, unexpected ways if you are only open to them. Pay attention and be open to Love in all the shapes it takes. It can be an incredibly healing experience. Trust that the universe has your back. And don’t feel sad about the spilled love. I always felt the people who can neither receive nor return it, probably needed it the most.
Don’t take responsibility for things that belong to another. My personal pitfall. Not sure why I do it. I think ‘Oh I’m strong, I can carry that little parcel for you for a while if it’s too heavy for you right now’. But then there’s another, and another, until I feel like I’m Hans (my UPS delivery guy), with a truckload of parcels which are all addressed to another. Sooner or later I decide to stop carrying them, and then the recipient gets a knock on their door and gets overwhelmed when they see the mountain of parcels that awaits them. And blame you for delivering them. Don’t be like the UPS guy. Be like the TSE guy at the airport: ‘mind your own luggage and did anyone else put anything into this suitcase of yours miss?’
A dear friend said to me the other day; Reasons aren’t excuses. Stop making excuses for another. If they can’t they can’t. There are plenty of people capable of stepping up. Don’t break your back over trying to help someone take responsibility. They probably don’t even want to take it and will end up blaming you on top of everything else.
Don’t make yourself smaller for another. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened in shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. (~Williamson). One I will be forever learning. I think the best solution is to be around people who make you grow and expand, not shrink you down to make themselves seem bigger.